I’m shamelessly obsessed with glutes. I often catch myself thinking the following:
- That can’t be real. How much are glute implants nowadays? Why would anyone want cement in their butt? If I become overweight, would my butt crumble under the weight when I sit?
– Her butt is definitely not that big in real life. What filter does she use? Maybe I should buy Photoshop for Dummies. Wait, I’ll just pay a struggling college nerd to photoshop my pictures—there’s a market for that right?
– She definitely squats. I wonder how often. Damn—should I squat again tomorrow? I did hashtag #nodaysoff yesterday.
– Latin American women have the best butts. Is it the beans and rice? They’re so lucky to have sun all year long, this pastiness is not helping me look thin. I should probably get that “spring into summer” special at Soleil Tanning.
All ignorance and jokes aside, lately I’ve wondered when my mere interest turned into a full-blown obsession. I mean, my Instagram feed will have an ass in your face 50% of the time, and I have a growing collection of sexy tushes in my iphone. I check out the buns of all the women I see in the gym, and I miiiight stare too long.
So, why am I attracted to big, firm, shapely glutes?
- It’s a lot of hard work!
Not only does it look fantastic, but strong glutes lends itself to higher levels of athletic performance. I’ve experimented with a ton of glute exercises and I will share with you the best ones to start utilizing today.
First, let me delight you with photos that are sure to spark some ASSpiration:
Laci Kay Somers (instagram.com/lacikaysomers)
Playboy Model, Personal Trainer, Cosmetic Nurse.
Tina Nguyen (instagram.com/tinang13)
NPC Figure competitor and Certified Bad-Ass.
Amanda Latona (http://amanda-latona.com/)
IFBB Bikini Pro, Fitness Model, TV Host, Booty Queen.
Ashley Kaltwasser (facebook.com/BikiniProAshley)
Ms. Bikini Olympus 2013, Sponsored Athlete.
Caitlin Rice (instagram.com/caitlinricefit)
Canadian, Entrepreneur, Perkiest Butt On Earth.
Yarishna Ayala (instagram.com/yarishna)
IFBB Bikini Pro, Puerto Rican, Fun Size.
It’s safe to assume I don’t participate in this obsession alone, and that’s a great thing (check out Sports Illustrated’s 50th anniversary cover). With the increasing popularity of fitness competitions and growing knowledge of glute strength in athletic performance and injury prevention, developing those buns of steel is a desirable thing from both an aesthetic and performance perspective.
We do so much sitting around at work, on the way to work, out to dinner with friends, while studying or reading, that our glutes have become so dormant and weak. A few minutes of glute squeezes at your desk or a million reps of kick backs is not going to cut it. I don’t want to hear that you’re participating in a 9,000 Squats in 30 Days Challenge, either.
These, my friends, are the three glute exercises that should form the foundation of your glute training:
1. Barbell hip thrust
2. Barbell glute bridge
3. Single-leg hip thrust
Basically, any exercise that has weight loaded onto your hips and has you performing hip extension movements will be effective. Your glutes are muscle like any other part of your body, so you should be employing progressive overload and focus on getting stronger. Increased strength = increased muscle mass.
I have to credit a lot of my glute development to Bret Contreras a.k.a. The Glute Guy, which I recommend everybody check out. I realized I was spending way too much time performing low weight, high rep glute exercises and chasing the pump. I also learned quickly that squats and deadlifts, although they do fire the glutes, do not target them as effectively. I’ve never felt such a deep burn before I started hip thrusting, and now it’s one of my favourite exercises. Just make sure you never make eye contact while humping the air.
During my quest for a better butt, I discovered just how much misconception there is about the glutes and how to train them. Many of you know the company Beach Body, the ones that brought you P90x, Insanity, Turbo Jam, and other extremely popular at-home workout DVDs. Check out their Brazilian Butt Lift marketing:
I saw this photo explode all over Instagram fitness pages and other social media websites, and I’ve had a couple friends talk to me about this magical TriAngle Training. Now, here is real gluteal anatomy…
Check out one of fitnessmagazine.com’s pathetic exercises:
A ball run? Sitting on a ball and pretending to run will build glutes?
I’ve stopped purchasing fitness magazines a long time ago, and you should too. Sometimes I’ll purchase both the men’s and women’s version and flip through it as it’s entertaining to see the difference in content and messaging. At the end of the day, men and women should be training the same way. There will be some adjustments due to differences in aesthetic goals, but the movements should be the same.
Anyway, hip thrust. It will raise your metabolic rate like crazy, build bow-worthy glutes, and have you getting a lot of things you probably don’t deserve. Oh, and it’s also highly attractive to see a man with a nice pair of buns…